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Literary magazine. |
 Further: A Novel Excerpt
May 11, 2009
 Sam Zigelman grew up in poor immigrant Milwaukee in the 1920s. He left Milwaukee and moved to New York, where he got in on the early days of advertising research. This section takes place one-third of the way through the book. It’s 1944 and Sam’s wife, Selma, is in labor with their first child. One other pertinent detail: Sam’s sister, Bella, the family radical, volunteered as a nurse in the Spanish Civil War. Sam sat in the maternity ward waiting room, shifting in his hard blue chair, which offered only a tease of a cushion worn down by a thousand expectant fathers before him. A man in a forest green jacket leaned over the empty chair between Sam and him, and started talking. It was the man’s second time. His first time was fifty-one hours. Sam wanted to believe that because this was Selma, she would not stay fifty-one hours. He did not want to ask what could require fifty-one hours. The movie screen in his head showed floods of blood and unnameable fluids soaking piles of ragged towels, accompanied by waves of desperate, animal screams. He wanted to change Selma’s towels for her, and he did not want to go near her room. He looked at his watch, then asked the man what time he had. The man suggested that Sam put away his watch because he was on a new planet where his experience of time would have no relation to any watch on Earth. Sam forced a smile and stood up. It had been only forty-seven minutes that he’d been sitting in the awful chair. He went to use the phone, asking the hospital operator to put a call through to his office. His secretary said that everything was under control; she was rescheduling his afternoon’s appointments. She asked about Selma and then said, if he didn’t mind, she’d like to get back to work. Sam found a seat in a corner of the room opposite from the time-talker, who was now theorizing with someone else. Sam clamped his hands over his ears and rested his elbows on his knees, but he could still hear them a little. If he had been doing research on waiting, he told himself, he would have been delighted to eavesdrop or casually join the conversation; however, he had work to do, on margarine. The Margarine Manufacturers’ Association had hired his agency to investigate the real reasons why consumers bought their product, and to suggest schemes for convincing others to join them. When Sam was assigned the design of the initial research, he had to swallow his disgust. For three years he’d had no butter on his toast. Selma used margarine on toast, but he could not. The one time he tasted Selma’s toast, she laughed at his face. He was still a Wisconsin boy in this matter, and the state of Wisconsin, of course, was where margarine was least popular. That faded artificial mildness. And those names that reeked of imitation: Farmbelle, Churngold, Sunnyland, Cloverbloom. He scolded himself for letting his personal taste interfere with his mission. He could not recall a product that he’d had such trouble approaching professionally. He quizzed himself about the attraction of margarine. The manufacturers’ association crowed to doctors that its vegetable fats were much healthier than butter’s animal fats. Also, purchasing margarine represented a sacrifice for the war effort. The latter argument was more compelling than one that reminded consumers what they were actually eating. At the sounds of a baby crying, Sam jumped. And then the sounds receded down a hallway. Sam was surprised at himself when he understood that he’d turned the margarine job into one where he had to sell to himself rather than elicit feedback from others. His approach didn’t have to be any different than it was with other products, with soap or sewing needles: ask a few good questions, let the group members talk and talk enough, and they’d let out some interesting associations and desires. He opened his notebook and started to doodle in spirals. The two men across the room discussed how many years it would take to reach Mars from Earth, once you really got going. Sam tried to concentrate and wrote: What sorts of sacrifices for the war effort do you make in your daily life? Which have been the most challenging for your family? Why? When did you start using margarine? What are your favorite dishes using margarine? What does margarine do better than butter does? When we win the war, will you keep using margarine? Is margarine a waiting room or a destination? Sam thought that he might include a few margarine-haters in the groups to spark some controversy. But then he realized that they should have separate groups so that everyone could relax and speak honestly. He wanted to start both groups with the same two questions. He felt competent and proud and kept writing: In your daily life, what happens most often that reminds you we’re at war? Are there foods you don’t eat now because you can’t get butter? Why can’t you get used to margarine? How soon after we win the war do you think that butter will become plentiful again? If we win in Europe, but lose in the Orient, will we have butter again? This last question was too awful. A nurse walked toward him. He asked her if Selma was okay, but the nurse only smiled and whispered to a man and woman two chairs away. The man and woman listened carefully, the same frown pulling down their lips. He guessed that the man and woman were brother and sister, that the sister had given birth to live children in this hospital, and that the brother’s wife was down the hall in one of the unknowable rooms. He knew that his own sister, Bella, would never kindly accompany him to a maternity ward waiting room, that she would never in all her life step inside such a place. She would travel far distances and attend to soldiers, but she had no idea what it was like to wait and wait for a tiny, elusive being to appear. Bella did not care to further the scraggly, hopeful, Zigelman family line. But she was out in the world, trying to make the world better, he argued to himself, while he did what? Tried to boost margarine. Not for the first time, he thought that Bella might have the right idea. He suddenly could not remember why, or if, he had ever wanted to bring a child into a warring world, a world with everything compromised, where even good President Roosevelt was indecisive about rescuing the few remaining Jews of Europe. Sam closed his eyes against the horror and mess. His poor child; he did not know how to advise a child about navigating life’s terrible choices and circumstances. Luckily for this baby, though, it would have Selma. Selma would have a tough, practical, smart child. Handsome and persuasive. A child whom Sam’s parents would admire and love. Sam took off his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. The two space-time men had been summoned by doctors almost simultaneously. The brother and sister stood with their backs to him, facing a tall potted plant and whispering. Sam got up to ask the nurse at the desk if she’d forgotten about him. He had a sense that his baby was waiting for him. The nurse suggested that he go get a cup of coffee, saying that his wife wouldn’t be ready anytime soon. It was nothing unusual, she stated plainly, nothing the doctors hadn’t handled hundreds of times before. When he asked if Selma was in pain, the nurse suggested that he might find the cafeteria a good change of scenery. Sam thought about how this new baby, if it ever came, of course it would come, might grow up never knowing butter. Butter might never return. He told himself that, as a father, he had to think differently. Of course butter would return. When the brave men had obliterated all the German cities and the Japanese ones too, those Wisconsin cows would be making butter for everyone again. Buttered toast, butter cookies, lemon butter, everything good and wholesome again. Log in to comment freely Comments: 17 Get an avatar |
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