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For Me You La

December 20, 2009

 

She is singing it. It is February 15th. We are after hours at Humble Pie. This is the Annual Love Hangover and she is singing it with a belly full of baby and that drunk coot of a husband swaying nearby. Talk about sick with love. But she’s not talking. She’s singing.  Scott is kneeling in front of the stage. I have gone slack in the chair behind him, all moon and daze. We are the you she is singing it to. La la la. And the Grant brothers tell a joke about physics.

*

I once loved Scott. La la la. He once sat on my piano bench with his hands outstretched. Ta da, ta da. Palms up, he said, “On this hand is a really cool woman. On this other hand is God.” And so I knew where I was while the Grant brothers told a joke about physics.

Before Scott, I loved Lee. Before Lee, I loved Jeff. Jeff Grant sat beside me in Theory of Calculus. His hands, God, his hands were pale and slender distractions. Easy on the neck of a guitar. Just his pinky finger at the corner of my right eye turned my cal notes sticky sweet, swampy marsh: I’ve got a delta for your epsilon, Jeff. Oh God, Jeff, be sure to bring that Gibson Archtop.

And the Grant brothers told this joke about physics: one day textbooks will print, near their center, a modest equation; its footnote will read, “As late as the twenty-first century, this formula was known as God.”

*

She is singing it. Over and on and in every key known to God, she is singing it. Those keys are like water through my fingers. I said, those keys sound like rain when I’m going under. I’ll play you a puzzle and you play the fool. There ain’t no key to me. I said no good key for me. There ain’t no key for me, except you la.

 


 

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