Martin Fisch

An excerpt from the novel, Cat People Story.

By way of background, a group of government-corporate–made human-cat hybrids has formed into a street gang behind an ominous leader called Swan. The main characters—Oboy and Freda—are two such wayward hybrids, and are on a mission to ‘free' all the pets they can in this unnamed city. In this chapter, Freda reads the latest news clip about her and Oboy’s exploits. The punctuation is as intended. The story is told primarily from Oboy’s point of view. He is what one might call developmentally disabled—one aspect of the ‘failure’ of the genetic experiment—and the novel intends to approximate his linguistic disability.
 
Police are on the lookout for a pair of cat burglars who creep into downtown flats between 2 and 5 am. Almost miraculously, the duo penetrates locked windows and balcony doors often located several stories above street level, then make their getaway via fire escapes and rooftops.

More incredible than their skill at breaking and entering is the fact these thieves arent after the usual money, electronics or jewels. Rather, they covet family pets, cats, rabbits, rodents, reptiles, but especially, exotic birds.

Police have noted one glaring exception to the hit list, which only amplifies the aura of mystery. In a city known for its canine lovers, these pet burglars dont like dogs.

Its not that we dont like dogs, its that we are allergic to slavering shit breath. says Freda.

Stained ceiling holes drip drip drip. Puddle shows flickering upsidedown candles. Skinny fingers black crosses hold newspaper. Wet blonde hair hangs, touches newspaper, touches wet pantlegs, wet black boots crossed, wood floor. Blonde hair drips water Dark spots plap plap newspaper. Ginger tabby purrs, kneads my lap, my pants damp, my fingers rubbing thin soft ear.

Freda says, A female burglar suspected in 30 breakins targeting birds and other pets last year has returned to the district, according to Gobelins Police Inspector Emile Bedolla. Bedolla said several Gobelins flats were recently broken into in a manner similar to those during last years spree. The breakins occurred in the area from Rue de la Sante to Avenue des Gobelins and from Boulevard Arago to Boulevard August Blank.

We are pretty sure this is the same gal from last year, Detective Bedolla said. And now she has a partner.

Here that, Oboy. Freda says. He called me a gal.

Ginger tabby licks my hand. Trickle tickles my neck, my back. Fingers scratch purring fuzzy tabby chin.

I cried as if somebody had died when he was taken, said 26-year-old Mimi Sissen, lamenting the theft of her likewise 26-year-old red macaw, Zoltan. Zoltan was torn from his rooftop aviary on 3 November.
Despite disguising themselves in long coats, stocking caps and sunglasses, victims describe the woman and her male accomplice as either Caucasian or Hispanic, in their late teens or early 20s, up to one point eight meters tall and of slender build. The woman is believed to have blonde hair.

Citywide, the number of pets stolen in the past 12 months has shot up to more than 100. During one four-month stretch, reported thefts included Sun Conures, Hyacinth Macaws, African Grey Parrots, Moluccan Cockatoos, California Kingsnakes, Ball Pythons, Bearded Dragons, Green Iguanas, a Painted Turtle, Leopard Tortoises and a plethora of rabbits, guinea pigs, gerbils, hamsters, mice and ferrets.

Freda caws, hands rattling newspaper. Parakeet whistles, bobs head. Cardboard box hides cuddly guinea pigs. Purring ginger tabby stretches, claws scratching my wet pants, hurting.

The thieves even broke into a pub and stole a duck. Edvar Kriek, owner of Hurdlemakers, said, The duck is one of a pair and though she didnt have a name, shes well loved by both myself and lots of our customers. Im very upset about the loss and the duck left behind is very confused.

Wet blonde Freda hair shakes. Blue eyes watch my eyes. Was there a second duck. Freda says. Well, we will have to pay another visit to Hurdlemakers, wont we. Cant have you feeling alone and blue, right, Donald.

Green plastic pool floats white pekin duck. Feathers glow candlelight. Ceiling drops plip plip green plastic pool. Quack quack. duck says, flapping, hurting my ears. Yellow bill scoops brown water, white feather head shakes sidetoside. Shiny drops speckle wood floor. Red burmese sits watching duck, pink nose leather damp, eyes blinkblink.

Inspector Bedolla said his team is burning the midnight oil to catch the burglars, but leads are few and positive descriptions scant. Bedolla believes there are more victims than have come forward, and so would like to remind citizens to do their part. Report any suspicious activity or information on the case to the investigations department at 014 952 5354. Callers may use the anonymous tip line at 014 482 7400.

Skinny Freda fingers tear newspaper. Ginger tabby ears flatten, pink tongue licks paw. Newspaper falls, Freda stands. Floor creaks Freda clack clicks Cats prip prip prip rubbing black Freda boots. Ceiling holes drip drip drip. Freda watches torn newspaper wall. Pale fingers pin torn newspaper. Cage birds whistle. Aquarium shows bearded dragons, staring black eyes. Freda comes clickclackclick. She crouches.
Lets see what Belleville has to say. she says. Pale hands shake newspaper, open pages. Cat eyes shine, window, couch, candlelight, darkness. Here it is. Freda says. Reward offered for cockatoo pinched from pet store. Belleville Police say a two person team is burgling this southwest district and has struck again over the past weekend.

The culprits broke into Senor Zorros Pet Boutique on Rue LaCross Sunday morning and snatched a 10-year-old umbrella cockatoo named Kipling. Witnesses report seeing a man and woman in long coats fleeing down the alley, cage in hand. They clambered up an office buildings fire escape and disappeared over the rooftop.

Jeri Luna, manager of Senor Zorros, is still trying to make sense of the crime. I thought it would be puppies, you know, the purebreds, that got stolen, or other merchandise, aquariums and such. Who in the world would actually just steal a bird. And why, whats the purpose for it Luna said.

It appears the thieves knew exactly what they wanted when they robbed Senor Zorros. However, no one can say who took Kipling or why.

Belleville Station Commander Hermann Kurt says Their motivation, whether its for cash, from selling the stolen pets, or the thrill, only the perpetrators can tell us that for sure.

Freda sits brown couch arm, boot heels thunkthunk wood floor. She says, Oh sure, those are the only reasons. Cheap money or cheaper thrills. It couldnt be because theres something really fucked with this world theyve made and that animals shouldnt have any part of it.

Ginger tabby stands, stretches, claws scratching. She hops, walks wood floor. Clothes pile quivers. Devon rex jumps Paw swats ginger tabby tail Devon rex spins jumps Ginger tabby hisses, crouching, paw raised.

Luna is asking for the publics help and is offering a huge reward for Kipling, who is worth 24,000 francs. The amount of the reward is only being disclosed to the person who finds the cockatoo.

Twenty-four grand. Freda says, standing over cage. Who knew you were worth so much. Kipling.

Umbrella cockatoo wings raise shadows, crest flares, black eyes blinkblink candlelight.

Hiya peanut. cockatoo says.

Three cheers for pizza. says hyacinth macaw.
Pale hands flap newspaper. Freda says, Police believe the duo is linked to as many as 150 burglaries in and around the downtown area over the past two years.  They primarily strike between 11 pm and 6 am, stealing only pets. The burglars have no qualms about hitting homes when residents are present, even entering bedrooms when people are asleep. On the rare occasion theyve been confronted, they simply scamper up building walls and disappear, their acrobatic escapes too much for the average pursuer.

Commander Kurt believes the same pair broke into at least nine Belleville flats between 11 and 29 November, stealing cats from four victims, one of whom, a woman in her 70s, was pushed to the floor when she grabbed the females coat Oh come on, I didnt knock her down, she fell when I pulled my arm away. says Freda. Bloody yellow journalism.

If you know the suspects, their whereabouts or have any other information on the crimes, call Belleville Police at blahbiddyblahblah. Freda says, fingers tearing paper.

She stands, walks click clack click wood floor creakcreak Freda fingers push pin paper, torn paper wall. Chinchilla Persian rubs black Freda calf, tail raised. Black pants show long white hairs.

Hands holding hips Freda says, Weve got the booboisie running scared, Oboy. We are front page of almost every district rag. Passy Pet Shop Hit by Theft. Daring Thieves Swipe Cockatoo. Angora Stolen, Kids Bereft. Reuilly Police Haven’t A Clue. Bird Thieves Terrorize Flats in Bercy. Thieves Turn Pet Store Arsy-Versy. Salty Cat Nicked from Stevedore. Rooty Hill Burglars Strike Twice More.

Freda hands clap, hurting my ears. Birds fweet fweet fweet, flapping, ruffling feathers. Cage bunnies huddle, noses twitching. Cats sprawl floor, mattress, couch, watching aquarium mice scurry.

Quack quack quack. says white pekin.

Thats right, you crazy duck. Freda says, tag on black collar twinkling. No mercy, from Belleville to Bercy.

Creamm. seal point Siamese says, paw tapping my knee.

We should start conducting large-scale assaults on breeding facilities. We should hit the zoo. Can you imagine what that would be like. Lions and tigers and bears, Oboy.

Freda hands grab ginger tabby, swing tabby, ceiling. Furry legs stiff, eyes blinkblink.

Dowwn. tabby cries.

Freda turns, holding tabby. What if we freed every bloody cat, bird, rabbit, mouse, tadpole and daddy longlegs in town. In the world. What if we were all free to start over again. To be who we are, who we always should have been. What kind of world would this be then.

Freda lips mwah ginger tabby head, hands put cat wood floor. Ginger tabby sniffs white hairs black Freda pants. Ivy leaves rattle window. Freda shoulders shake, wet brown coat falls Notice none of the papers said how cold and wet our mission is Arm flings coat, coat hits mattress. Tortoiseshell cat jumps, arches back, eyes black. Pale Freda hands push black sleeves, arms pale, candlelight. Freda hand takes red towel, rubs wet blonde hair. Red towel hides wiggly voice. Thats the thing about the papers. They never tell the whole story.

Red towel falls. Blue Freda eyes, my eyes.

Im going to take off my pants now. says Freda. Pale fingers pull belt. Buckle flashes.

Theres something I want to show you. she says. Something you need to see.